November 2006 (v9 i3)
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Need equations solved? Iím free this Spring
by Lucy Fur Wormwood, A Messenger

You go to church every Sunday. You volunteer at a soup kitchen twice per week. You have a Jesus fish on your Dodge Stratus. Heck, youíre even saving yourself for Mr. Right! So why do things seem to just never go your way? Itís not you, honey. Itís God. Heís just not that into you.

Those 10 pounds you put on last month? Your demotion at Jack ní the Box? The D+ on your intro to nutrition exam? Proof that Godís just not that into you. Now, the first step in reconciling with this cold, hard fact is not to blame yourself! God is a fickle being. He may not be into your because you used His name in vain that one time last year. Or because you didnít forward the ď101 Ways to Love JesusĒ e-mail from your Aunt Betsy to 20 people in 20 minutes.

Letís just take a minute to look at the facts. God is both omnipotent and omniscient. He hears you, He just chooses not to respond. He can raise someone from the dead, so of course He could have gotten you out of that traffic ticket. How can you commit to someone if they arenít meeting you halfway?

So for the time being, YOU have to take control of your life! Donít let God get you down. Itís a waste of YOUR time to sit in church every Sunday, waiting for God to notice you. And stop making excuses for Him! For one, He doesnít care about ruining your friendship. He also doesnít care about taking it slow. And Heís most certainly not playing games with you. Heís just not that into you! Move on, sister! YOU are a modern woman and YOU have to EMPOWER YOURSELF!

You can see the kind of people God is into just by flipping through the Bible: Moses, David, Noah. You should face up to it now; you canít be like these people. First off, youíre probably not Jewish. And secondly, youíre no saint. You were born with original sin. Honey, thatís just the way God made you. Youíll never be up to Godís standards. But you shouldnít have to be. Donít work to satisfy His impossible demands, because you know what? You wonít! Itís time to move on. Godís just not that into you? Well now itís time to not be that in to God.
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