November 2006 (v9 i3)
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He’ll definitely treat me better when we’re married!
by Katie Jensen, Hopeless Romantic

So I’ve been dating Jeff on and off for the last four years, and we’ve hit a couple of rough patches like any relationship. But as graduation approaches for both of us in December, I have this crazy feeling he’s gonna pop the question any day now. Call it women’s intuition.

So I’m super excited because once we’re married everything’s gonna be so much better! No more worrying about him getting too drunk with his buddies, no more using my monthly clothes allowance to bail him out of jail, and no more constantly second-guessing myself over whether he thinks I’m pretty! All that college immaturity is just gonna fly right out the window because marriage just makes relationships easier.

Sure the time he cheated on me with two of my sorority sisters when I was in the hospital with appendicitis was pretty horrible, but everyone makes mistakes. My best friend Trisha kept telling me to break up with him after that, but then I realized that Trish is just jealous because she’s overweight and alone. And I definitely don’t want to be alone. Or overweight!

Call me an optimist but I just have this feeling that all these minor problems are just gonna fade away when we both say “I do.” I mean the time he showed up to my uncle’s funeral two hours late and high on mushrooms was pretty insensitive, but he totally made it up to me later that night when he let me pick the movie at Blockbuster. What a sweetie!

I just can’t wait to get a little puppy together. It’ll be like our first test to see if we’re gonna be responsible parents or not, and my daddy says that responsibility is a key attribute in any good man. Although Jeff has never really held a steady job, often goes weeks at a time without calling me and won’t ever look my father in the eye, I have this crazy feeling that he’ll turn it all around when we share the same last name.

Oh yeah, and once we get married Jeff won’t have to deal with all of those jealousy and rage issues he struggles so much with right now. He can’t divorce me through a text message when he sees me eating lunch with one of my old guy friends from high school, and he definitely can’t slash tires and break his jaw two weeks later when he sees him at a frat party.

I know it sounds like Jeff is one of those crazy possessive boyfriends, but he really is a great guy deep down inside, and he’ll definitely be sweeter when he’s my hubby. I remember this one time he got me this really sexy lingerie from Victoria Secrets for Easter, and he totally got all my sizes right without me even telling him what they were. I guess it was kind of strange that he left it crumpled up and damp in the back seat of his truck, but I found it anyway!

Marriage is gonna be so awesome. But even though my friends, parents, and even his parents don’t think he’s right for me I just can’t wait to tie the knot with Jeff. And if by some chance marriage doesn’t turn out to be the picnic that I think it will be then at least I won’t have to work for the rest of my life.
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