Travesty Index / Texas Travesty Archives

April/May 2006 (v8 i6)

Crossing Your Border 1997

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Travesty Index

President Bush and the first lady’s income for 2005 : about $735,000

Amount President Bush and the first lady paid in taxes this year : $187,768

Dick Cheney and his wife’s adjusted gross income for 2005 : $8,819,006

Amount the Cheneys will receive as a tax refund this year : $1.9 million

Semesters of in-state tuition Cheney’s refund could cover : 469

Percentage of students going home for summer : 58

Average travel time going home : 2.5 hours

Number of hours before your parents ask you to mow the lawn : .23

Days during summer you will spend wondering why you didn’t stay in Austin : 98

Number of times you will go to IHOP in your hometown : 62

Number of awkward encounters with old high-school friends at IHOP : 62

Number of graduates receiving “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” as a graduation present : 1,495

Number of graduates whose recycling bin will be heavier than normal : 1,494

Days the Tower was lit up with the number 1 for the football team : 14

Days the Tower will be lit up for the class of 2006 : 3

Number of times this month you’ll wish you were out in the real world making money : 16

Number of times you’ll be in your cubicle past 2am next year : 16

Number of laughs the realization of this irony will engender : 0

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