April/May 2006 (v8 i6)
Crossing Your Border 1997
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Iím the king of sensible fun
by Jeffrey Simms, Just a Sensible Guy

Hey, gang! Whatís on the agenda for tonight? Got any plans? I donít know about you guys, but I could go for some sensible, post-work dining.

Did I hear somebody say dinner and a movie? I sure hope so ó Iíve been craving a Chiliís turkey burger and a Diet Coke since mid-afternoon. Whaddya say we all pile into my mid-sized Volvo wagon after work and grab a good table before the evening rush hits?

No, Darryl, you canít call shotgun now. Thatís not how I play the game.

Donít get too excited, team ó weíve still got 40 minutes of important work to do before the weekend begins, and these spreadsheets arenít gonna run macros on themselves. Trust me, group, once that minute hand hits five youíre all gonna forget about work. Why? Because Iím the king of sensible fun!

TGIF indeed, Darryl.

Iíve heard some rumblings around the office about possibly dining at Dave íní Busters or even the Cheesecake Factory. Now, team, Iím all about having fun ó sensible fun ó but Iím just not sure the above restaurants can compete with the moderately priced menu and laid-back dining environment at Chiliís.

No, Darryl. Hooters is out of the question. Weíre not young college bucks, unfortunately.

Having worked in the supplies management business for seven years now, Iíve observed that many worker-bees tend to drown their problems with a trip to the olí watering hole for some adult beverages and a cancer stick ó but thatís just not my style. No, sir ó as far as Iím concerned, thereís nothing like exchanging pleasantries over a couple of spinach and artichoke dips and southwestern-style eggrolls to help relieve the stress of a busy yet highly productive day.

Yes, Darryl, that 24 show sure is exciting television. I also wonder when Jack Bauer fits in a trip to the restroom.

Now some of you have expressed concern that Ice Age 2: Meltdown is too tame of a film for us to go see. I heartily disagree. Not only have critics throughout the greater Midwest given it excellent reviews, but it also features such noted celebrity talent as John Leguizamo, Queen Latifah, and the affable Ray Romano.

Okay, Darryl, youíve made your point, but I just donít think it would be prudent to sneak some Wild Turkey and Xanax into a midnight screening of Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction. Whatís the point in having sensible fun if you canít remember how sensible it was the next day?

Now, Darryl, itís been a few weeks since I last perused the staff handbook, but Iím quite certain that ďbonerĒ and ďblouse bunniesĒ are not office-appropriate words.

Whoa, Darryl, TMI. Too Much Information.

Okay, gang, so I guess weíll reconvene in the lobby a couple minutes after five. Get ready for some sensible fun courtesy of yours truly.

Oh, by the way, did any of you guys get that forwarded e-mail I sent out about the lawyer who goes to Heaven? Well, when you get a free minute you should check it out and maybe forward it to other people. It gave me quite a chuckle.


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