April/May 2006 (v8 i6)
Crossing Your Border 1997
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concerns and praise
from our literate public

ASK THE CS STUD
My life vastly improved once I regarded dating as a lower form of prostitution. Now I’m saving hundreds of dollars each month! However, this could also be because I’ve moved back in with Mother. And speaking of Mother, do you have any tips for getting a 22-year-old man ungrounded? I got caught watching the Cinemax last evening. Moms: Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.
J@x_tH3_h4x3r
RLM basement



TRAVESTY CROSSWORD
You are sick, sick people. I have been working on this crossword for 112 consecutive hours. How do you expect any human being to complete this vague piece of shit? “Rod Stewart’s elementary school?” “Adjective?” You make me want to quit life.
Martin T. Meeks
Staten Island, New York



THE 26 RIVERSIDE
After I read Mr. Nienkerk’s diatribe on the busing system I couldn’t help but wonder: If you hate the bus so much, why not drive your car? Perhaps you hadn’t thought of that before — driving your car. That’s what I do. It’s very convenient. Give it some thought. You do have a car, don’t you?
Lisa Buckner
Austin



LAPTOP NOTE-TAKING
I don’t know who’s running things over there, but I remember when the Texas Travesty used to have stories that mattered. Now it seems that the stories that make it to print are motivated by something other than journalistic reasons. Articles about laptops being used for notes or rice found in a roll of quarters? Whatever happened to your integrity? You’d better get back to iPod humor, or else you might as well kiss your readership goodbye.
Brian Belindaberg
Havertown, Pennsylvania



FAILURE TIMELINE
Your mockery of me in the “Bode Miller: Timeline of Failure” feature is not only completely untrue, but also not very cool at all. I would never allowed my rugged good looks and free-spirited nature to prevent me from feeding my neighbor’s dog like you stated. There was that time when I forgot to feed my own dog and he ended up eating his own leg out of starvation, but that was a totally different case (there was a sweet marathon of JAG on FX). I would appreciate if you would do some fact checking the next time I crash and burn during the Winter Olympics.
Bode Miller
Closest tavern



OLD WOMAN
Regardless of how many times I read the “Old woman tells terrible, awkward story over dinner” article, it still brings a nostalgic tear to my eye. My grandmother — God rest her soul — also ruined family gatherings. (Though she never “compared her cervix to a pickled strawberry.”) Now, thanks to the Travesty, I can relive her memory, imagining my sweet granny to be the one from the article, comparing her scab to “Grover Cleveland’s profile.”
Chadwick McKensington
San Marcos


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