September 2005 (v8 i1)
Having Fleeting Delusions of Grandeur Since 1997
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The Bullies of freshman terror

What majesty besieges mine bespectacled eyes! I tremble at the thought of big, bad boys like you! At night, sleep evades me as I picture you throwing me against a locker. Will today be the day that you jump me between classes and have your way with me? Take my lunch money, for you already have a chokehold on my heart!

vital stats

turn-ons: dominating, tight ends, going long, swirlies, neck rolls, pocket protectors (seen, not worn), Nickleback, not being gay, artistic or a sissy
turn-offs: wet towels, soccer, torn ACLs, helmet hair, self esteem, referees, pinstripes, independent thought, jock itch, operating without a game plan, athlete's foot
motto: "No pain, no gain, you stupid pussy."
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