September 2005 (v8 i1)
Having Fleeting Delusions of Grandeur Since 1997
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September 2005 (v8 i1)

Editor-in-Chief
Kristin Hillery

Managing Editor
JJ Hermes

Design Director
David Strauss

Associate Editors
Elizabeth Barksdale
Kathryn Edwards
Chanice Jan
Ryan B. Martinez
Todd Nienkerk

Writing Staff
Mike Faerber Sara Kanewske
Todd Mein
Jill Morris
John Roper
Toby Salinger
Laura Schulman
Stephen Short
Christie Young

Copy Chief
Stephanie Bates

Design Staff
Dayna Conklin
Ryan Flores
Adam Shackleton
TJ Sharp
Samantha Soper
Christina Vara

Advertising
Erica Grundish

Publicity
Stan Babbitt

Distribution
Bradley Jackson

Webmaster
Mike Kantor

Administrative Assistants
Sandy Arriaga
Kevin Cook
Zack Claxton
Lesley Dixon
Jen Goldstein
Travis Henning
Kelsey Lamb
Garrett Rowe

Cover design
JJ Hermes

Lindsay Lohan Doll
Adam Shackleton

Rumors/Rejected Essays
Samantha Soper (layout)

Centerspread
JJ Hermes (photos)
Todd Nienkerk (layout)

Jeff Goldblum
Dayna Conklin (layout)
Ron Popeil (cardboard cutout)
Christina Vara (layout)

Greeting cards
JJ Hermes (design)
Adam Shackleton (design)

Fashion
JJ Hermes (photo)
Christina Vara (layout)
Joan Rivers (living corpse)

Illustrations
Dayna Conklin
Lesley Dixon
Ryan Flores
Travis Henning
JJ Hermes
Mike Kantor
Todd Nienkerk
Adam Shackleton
TJ Sharp
Samantha Soper
David Strauss
Christina Vara

Pale Visage
Macaulay Culkin

Contributing Writer
Camden Gilman

Models
Parth Gejji
Keegan Hernandez
Stephen Price
Austin Sears

Cover models
Edward Coles
John Pulliam
Travis Henning

Ad sales
Erica Grundish
Chanice Jan

Shout Outz
Karaoke; robotic cats; blacking out; racing period; free [adult swim] posters; a locker full of Travis; David's shit in the fridge; extra undies; dead roaches; smart girls 2K5; vainillas; SOKP; visiting glass in the basement; BYOB; ripping off places; making signs; former Internet boyfriends; phoning in funny; Kingdom of Loathing; a lot of new people and a lot of names I don't remember; a relatively clean basement; different music; falling down in front of people; "quitting" jobs; Beethoven, not his 5th; getting in trouble at the strip club; Sam's bachelorette party; FOOD; too many anal rape jokes; missing Nintendo; the mysteries of pi; awkward waiters at Mongolian restaurants; Lo Mein dumping popcorn on idiots; drunk UT fans; unidentifiable sources of cuts and bruises; shitty music; Travesty balls; gleeking; Asshat; finding something for David to do; go Junior, go Senior; Camp Care; shirts that have all 43 presidents on them; people not on staff in the basement for prolonged periods of time; Toddcasts; expensive props; pocket protectors.
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