March 2005 (v7 i5)
Sockin' it to You Since 1997
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"Houston, I don't have a problem!" Moonshine Zero Gravity Being the second man to walk on the moon, not the first Knighting himself Sir Buzz Lightbeer
"I have no desire for streetcars. I'm fine to drive, you scalawag." Southern Comfort Throwing cats on hot tin roofs Using his plays' titular line every five seconds Turning his mom's glass menagerie into a glass catastrophe
"You're the idiot with no common sense." Sam Adams Flying kites with Benjamin Franklin Being a royal pain Setting George Washington's teeth on fire
"Oh shut up. Let's get hammered and paint the town confusing!" Absolut Abstract Punching someone in the face Spilling multiple drinks and explaining it as a new form of art Drawing a real shape
"Oh, be quiet! You're starting to sound like my ex-husbands!" Buttery Nipple Sleeping pills are a girl's best friend Rounding the bases with Joe Dimaggio Misplacing her mole
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