February 2005 (v7 i4)
Counting the Ways Since 1997
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Travesty Index
Number of words in George Washington's first State of the Union : 833

Number of words in George W. Bush's 2005 State of the Union : 8 x 107

Length of this year's speech : 53 minutes

Length of this year's speech minus applauses : 24 minutes

Number of American flag lapel pins : 602

Number of non-white people : 13

Number of non-white people who got network face-time : 13

Number of times Dennis Hastert blinked : 3

Number of people who could have given Bill Frist HIV

by sweating in his presence : 310

Year in which Bush predicted Social Security would be bankrupt : 2042

Year in which currently graduating seniors will need social security : 2045

Year in which current freshmen will pair off and battle to the death in a winner-take-Social-Security-check brawl : 2049

Number of homoerotic winks to a Supreme Court justice : 1

Number of times Cheney smiled like a proud parent : 34

Number of times Cheney frowned like an ashamed parent : 62

Number of times Cheney used an icy, cold stare to strike fear into the hearts of millions : 93

Number of times First Lady applauded before resuming catatonic state : 96

Number of dollars the deficit rose while Bush delivered his State of the Union address : $630,052
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