May 2004 (v6 i6)
Going down in elevators since 1997
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Student can't believe how annoying parents have gotten
Summer break to be full of embarrassment, boredom
by Kristin Hillery, Managing Editor

AURORA, CO — Upon returning home for summer break earlier this week, Boston University freshman Jennifer Denman was shocked to find out how annoying her parents have become since she last visited them five months ago during winter vacation.

"So the minute I walked in the door, my mom was all like, 'Sweetie, your face looks a little bit chubby. Boys don't like chunkers!'" Denman explained. "I didn't even get a 'hello' or my favorite dinner waiting for me on the table. And to top it off, she asked me if I'd take my little sister to soccer practice for the rest of the time I'm here. Yeah - no thanks."

Mr. and Mrs. Denman were quick to remind Jennifer of the household rules, and that she is expected to follow them in order to set a good example for her younger siblings while at home.

"We'd like you to be back by midnight when you go out with your friends. Your mother and I expect you to call us to check in every hour just so that we know you're okay," said Mr. Denman to his visibly aggravated daughter.

Jennifer does not appreciate being treated like a "child" by her parents, especially because she is "not a baby anymore."

"I don't think they have any idea of how I've spent the past nine months waking up in a different bed almost every morning with a massive hangover and no recollection of what I did the night before," said Denman. "I can't just come back here and deal with these people who have no idea who I am now. It's like they're trying to embarrass and annoy me with everything they do."v The Denman family has already made plans for Jennifer to join them on a trip to Florida next month, where they will visit Jennifer's grandmother.

"Grandma Louise is going to get such a kick out of seeing Jenny all grown up," remarked Mrs. Denman, grinning. "And she's so happy that we're going to be there the night she's hosting one of her famous Bunko parties - what a super coincidence."

Denman was also surprised to find out that her bedroom had been converted into the family's guest room, and all of her belongings were packed away in boxes in the attic marked "junk."

In order to curb her boredom for the rest of the summer, Denman has purchased an ounce of marijuana.

"I figure this will hold me over until I get to go back to school in August. Maybe it'll make this place interesting," Denman remarked, referring to her suburban enclave outside of Denver. "I'm thinking about taking some classes at the community college, or I guess I could always call my high school friends as a last resort for something to do."
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