May 2004 (v6 i6)
Going down in elevators since 1997
 Jump to Issue  


Interactive
Buy Merchandise

AIM Buddy Icons

Desktop Backgrounds

Webcam

Internet access ruins born-again virgin's plans
Fifteen dollars buys a good time, clear conscience
by Christie Young, Staff Writer

DAYTON, OH — Carrie Summers, 23-year-old co-founder of Helping Hymen, became a born-again virgin for the fourth time last Wednesday night after taking part in an online ménage a trois. She took an oath stating that she could reclaim her purity by ceasing all sexual activity, despite her hymen already having been penetrated. Summers was then given what she was told she could never get back - her virginity.

"I founded Helping Hymen with my best friend Joan when I was 19. We both were having lots of sex, but we were scared about looking sleazy," said Summers. "We wanted to create a club for girls just like us - girls who wanted to get back on track. That's when I took my oath, and I was given back the most precious gift ever."

Despite Summers' physical compliance to the oath, online sex has proved to be a weakness for the abstinence advocate.

"It really was an accident this time, although I'll admit I wanted it to happen. I wanted it to happen real bad," said Summers as she began to sensually caress her collarbone. "I just got so turned on when Keith told me he was in a public library and that we had to keep quiet and hurry. Things were said, and clothes were removed. You know, stuff just happened."

Summers has accepted all responsibility for her actions, and she has sought the support of fellow Helping Hymen members. Joan Schneiderman founded a program called Twelve Steps to Making You Untainted Again in anticipation of such occurrences. v "All girls have needs - that's a fact," Schneiderman said. "But those needs can be fulfilled by talking, listening to Bette Midler or eating chocolate. I know there's no limit to how many times you can be reborn into a chaste life, but it's $14.95 every time, which can add up if you're not careful."

"I really want my future husband to know that I saved myself for him, and that I'm giving him the most sacred gift I could ever give someone," Summers remarked. "I would expect the same from him."

Many members of Helping Hymen have witnessed Summers' online downfalls and fear the same future.

"She's always doing it online," said Monica Harvey. "This one morning I was at her apartment waiting for her to go to Stein Mart, and I could hear her typing and breathing really heavily. When I confronted her about it, she just mumbled something about needing to get off on a good foot and how she wanted to pick up her dry cleaning. She may not be doing it-doing it, but it's close enough."

Many of Summers' male friends have also complained about her online activities, questioning her intentions for their friendship.

"Dude, Carrie's totally been weirding me out lately. I mean, it was pretty obvious we're platonic friends since I'm married and all, but lately she's been trying to hook up online all the time," Robert Nash said. "I've told her I'm not into that kind of stuff, but she won't stop IMing me and asking me to tell her what I'm wearing and how bad she wants my throbbing loins. For God's sake, I'm a married man."

Summers has denied all accusations of misconduct surrounding her online activity, although she had admitted to various occasions in which she retook her vows "just to be safe."

"Sometimes I just can't help myself," said Summers. "I can have orgasmic bliss and a clear conscience, even if it is 15 bucks down the drain."
« Back to the May 2004 issue
©1997-2006 Texas Travesty | Copyright & Legalese | Issue Credits | Texas Travesty Archives Home