April 2004 (v6 i5)
Shirking responsibility since 1997
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Soup kitchen charged with liberal bias
Student complains of 'unfair' leftist rhetoric, organic soap
by J.J. Hermes, Design Director

After using a hairnet, be sure to cut it up so
brainless animals don't choke on it and die.
AUSTIN — Finance sophomore Jack Hughes filed a formal complaint to the City of Austin concerning the liberal bias at a local soup kitchen, Caritas Loaves and Fishing Community Kitchen, where he was forced to perform community service for his third speeding ticket. The move marks a growing trend among conservatives rallying together against what they see as a liberal bias in mainstream America.

"I am tired of the left's indoctrination," said Hughes. "They control the media, they infect the universities; enough is enough."

Most of Hughes' resentment came from a comment by soup kitchen employee Tonya Nichols. After a homeless teenager received her ration, Nichols murmured audibly, "No child left behind, indeed, Mr. Bush."

"It was ludicrous and totally unrelated to handing out food," said Hughes. "I am all for the First Amendment, but there is a time and a place. Unless directly related to what is going on, political opinions should be kept to oneself."

Hughes also held contempt for some of the homeless who had come to receive a meal, citing their attitude and attire as purely liberal. Hughes reported that a man dressed entirely in black leather harassed him for his neatly-trimmed haircut, dubbing him a "slave to the machine of militarism and greed."

Katherine Sanders, a regular volunteer at the Caritas Loaves and Fishing Community Kitchen for over 10 years, found the situation distressing.

"It disturbs me that people like Hughes want to squelch political dissent," said Sanders. "It seems that the only opinions he is willing to hear are those that are in line with his own."

Hughes also noted the "malodorous, long-haired" appearance of his co-volunteers as an indication of society's liberal bias.

"The staff in the kitchen is undoubtedly a monopoly for the political left," said Hughes. "They look down on someone clean cut like myself immediately; they automatically single me out for ridicule. Some of the volunteers have turned working in the soup kitchen as a soap box for their anti-Bush, anti-capitalism views, and I will not stand for it."

Some in the kitchen were left wondering how such a loaded label took shape from the comments or actions.

"[Hughes] takes such a black-and-white approach to politics," said Nichols. "It seems as though he wants to homogenize thought."

Although Hughes was incited by this specific incident, he claimed that it stood for something much bigger.

"I think there should be a fair and balanced reform of the liberal indoctrination that goes on in the world, this soup kitchen being a starting point. It is clearly the first step in delivering America from the evil forces of terrorism, despotism, and liberalism."
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