April 2004 (v6 i5)
Shirking responsibility since 1997
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Larry & Steve
Dodgers bowling team

Rumble-crash! The ladies watch you beer-bellied babes shoot your glistening balls down their carefully waxed alleys. I stare breathlessly as those sensual spheres zoom at a speed exceeded only by your flight from your pregnant girlfriend! Will you shatter my heart the way you did those pins–or your children’s dreams of having a real family? Oh, I hope so!

vital info

Hobbies: stating the obvious, avoiding the mother(s), public urination, buying alcohol for minors, radiating second-hand smoke, collecting matchbooks, GTA
Turn-ons: close-mindedness, little league rainouts, Easy Mac, Value Combo #2 (hot dog, nachos, & diet soda), infertile women, Hank Williams III, Steve Vai
Turn-offs: ingrown toenails, rainy days, parent-teacher conferences, chaperoning, signing permission slips, visitation, Boy Scouts, hugs, brushing teeth
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