April 2004 (v6 i5)
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Math Ph.D. finds alternate use for flyers
Local women reportedly less than enthusiastic
by Camden Gilman, Staff Writer

"Hey, there. Check this ou - oh, ok. Hi! Want my
number? I collect amphibians. Want to see my
terrarium? It's really ne — ok, well, maybe later."
AUSTIN — After few responses from students interested in his tutoring services, mathematics doctorate Phil Bidding found a new use for his cleverly designed flyers Friday. Realizing that he had a surplus of leftover flyers bearing his contact information, he started giving the stubs from his ads to women at local clubs and bars.

"Students never seemed interested in a tutor," said Bidding, a 1971 University of Texas at Austin alum. "I usually tore a few stubs off myself to get it started and to seem popular, but no one would ever call. I would sit in anticipation night and day, usually passing the time by doing math problems for fun."

After realizing that the stubs were ineffective at attracting tutoring clients, Bidding began distributing them to prospective sexual partners - a technique which reminded women that the number on the yellow scrap of paper belongs to a Math Ph.D.

"With so many guys hitting on you at bars, it's hard enough to remember which guys you liked and which ones you thought were total losers," said one female recipient of Bidding's flyer stub. "I really liked how he made it easy to remember that he was the nerdy math guy who kept folding the stub on his flyer back and forth to make a clean tear. I know exactly what I'll be doing with his number when I get home."

Bidding's unique idea benefits the university, as many have grown tired of his flyers cluttering up campus kiosks and buildings. A majority of students view the ubiquitous flyers as an annoyance, according to a UT Learning Center survey. With most students unwilling to attend a professor's office hours, a period during which they could easily receive free tutoring, many consider outside tutors - and therefore the flyers - frivolous.

A local expert on flyer distribution criticized Bidding's self-advertising efforts. Bair Vincent, a self-defense instructor/personal trainer who moonlights as a Portuguese Sign Language interpreter, believes a slightly different tactic to plastering the city with flyers might have allowed Bidding to keep his career as a tutor.

"What that guy didn't do is put those flyers everywhere. Not just around campus - everywhere," Vincent said. "You need to put them in restaurants, post offices, even in restroom stalls next to clever poems about shitting and "grout" word plays. That's where people are most likely to be interested in your service."

Vincent added: "It only took me 20 minutes of online training to get this license to teach self-defense classes. I'm surprised a Ph.D. didn't have the common sense to place his flyers more effectively."
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