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Retractions |
- The following “Shout Outz” were made in error: Conrad Bain, seedy underbellies, sunshine, and scores of undeserving street peddlers. The Travesty regrets the error.
- In the November 1999 issue, the caption reading “infectious, oozing cyst” was supposed to read “watch Michael Moore eat this cake whole.” The Travesty regrets the error.
- The October 2003 issue was entirely devoid of the adjective “smotley.” The Travesty regrets the error.
- In every issue to date, we did not mean to imply that all of our readers are complete assholes. As unbiased newsreporters, we should really keep our personal opinions to ourselves. The Travesty regrets the error.
- Upon beginning this fine paper, our first Editor-in-Chief printed some not-so-nice things about his mother. They have since reconciled, and the Travesty regrets the error.
- As every single joke we make is hilarious, we apologize if any of our high-brow witticisms were misinterpreted by simpletons as “unfunny” or “stupid as balls.” The Travesty regrets your low IQ and pitiable excuse for a sense of humor.
- In our November 2001 issue, the hottie, Jigga the Promiscuous Platypus, was meant to be wearing a quirky birthday hat. The Travesty regrets the error.
- Who has more time on their hands: you or us?
- In each issue we use a plethora of uninteresting filler to complete mediocre features. The Travesty does not regret the error.
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