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All-cheese pizza makes the ‘grate’ with customers by Kristin Hillery, Advertising Director
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 ANN ARBOR, MI — Domino’s Pizza revealed their latest creation at a press conference last Monday. Defying modern pizza-making ideology, the Severe Cheese Pizza has only cheese in its recipe. So far, customers and food critics alike have been saying “cheese” to the new pie.
The Severe Cheese Pizza excludes two of the three traditional elements of a pizza—dough and sauce—and is made with an outer “intense” layer of mozzarella cheese with an inner “severe” layer of the customer’s choice of parmesan, American, brie, Swiss, or cottage cheese. Domino’s customers can order Severe Cheese Cheese Sticks to go along with their pizza for an additional $3.99.
The pizza was developed when Domino’s realized that a new product was necessary to keep up with America’s growing demand for high-calorie foods as well as competition from rival Pizza Hut’s Stuffed Crust Gold Pizza—appropriately named for the golden cheddar cheese ring that both tops and fills the crust. Since its unveiling, the Severe Cheese Pizza has accrued ‘cheddar’ for leaders in the pizza industry, setting a new standard for the business.
Still, some critics warn that the current industry trend of over-marketed, high-fat foods may be short-lived if “people come to their senses about what they eat,” says fitness expert Dan Perry. “Americans are getting fatter every year. It’s not okay, so we need to ma—oh, goodness. Did I really say that? ‘Okay, so?’ ‘Oh, queso?’” laughed Perry. “That’s just plain cheesy!”
Whether or not Domino’s plans to make the Severe Cheese Pizza a permanent feature on their menu will depend on how well it sells.
“It would really stink if they cut the cheese,” said Lou Palou, a loyal Domino’s customer who feels the unique new pizza deserves a grade ‘A.’ “They finally realized that all that bread and sauce were taking away from the best part. I love this pizza and it’s all I want to eat now—it’s just that darned gouda.”
Domino’s encourages everyone to give their new pizza a try, and they are confident that it will be successful.
“This isn’t just the same ‘mold’ thing,” explained Domino’s CEO Walter Fromage. “The Extreme Cheese Pizza is by far the ‘dairy’ best product we’ve marketed in our forty-three-year history.” |
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