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NouveauCabulary bringing you the latest in hip verbiage |
Hi-YOT! (n): someone so attractive that only a combination of the word "hot" and a karate chop can describe them (e.g., "Tanya Harding is hot, but Nancy Kerrigan is hi-YOT!")
Cervix (v): to make a speculum of yourself
Gynecological humor (adj): hilarious
Subtle-plop (v): to attempt to hush the sound of a bowel movement while defecating in a public restroom
Saved by the bell (v): to use emergency contraceptives (e.g., "It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell.")
The Dr. Phil Diet (n): diet consisting of only Texas Toast and bullshit (e.g., "The Dr. Phil Diet saved my marriage and made me really constipated.")
Honk-Honk (n): a hilarious sound effect to make during sexual intercourse
Boy Scout troop (n): 1. a crash course in bigotry for middle class heterosexual boys; v. 2. to learn how to tie awesome knots
Daisy Pukes (n): a girl who, despite having an extreme cellulite problem, continues to wear short-shorts (e.g., "Here comes Daisy Pukes, and she's still not wearing pants.")
Soggy Steve (v): to wipe the urine of past users off a toilet seat (e.g., "Bernard has to Soggy Steve every toilet, every time, in any bathroom of any UT building.")
Plutarch (v): 1. to use a computer for the sole purpose of procrastination or avoiding something; 2. to interrupt an activity in order to plutarch (e.g., "In retrospect, I guess plutarching my baby in the bathtub wasn't such a good idea.")
E-Bus (n): a venereal disease (e.g., "I went clubbing Saturday night and I caught a nasty E-Bus on the way home.")
Napster (adj): representing a sad shell of former glory (e.g., "Dude, the Chicago Bulls are so Napster.")
Hump (v): to confuse or stupefy; to perplex (e.g., "The professor humped the whole class today!")
Cotton gin (n): something unidentifiable as good or bad (e.g.,"She's got a cotton gin in her panties.")
Cracka'fro (n): a Caucausian person with a large amount of hair sticking out in every direction from their head (e.g.,"Man, that cracka'fro needs to get some Frizz-ease...bad")
Rapist (n): a basketball player (e.g.,"Kobe Bryant is the best. He's always taking it to the hole, and he really knows how to work both ends.")
Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n Fruity (n): ery kinky things one loves to do but refrains from talking about in public (e.g.,"Man, I think Andy got into some Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n Fruity shit last night. Look at the owl feathers on his carpet.")
Clumsophile (n): someone who derives sexual pleasure from watching others fall down (e.g.,"'I didn't realize Philip was a clumsophile until I saw him looking at skankystumblingsluts.com.")
Nouveaucabulary (n): something very hit-or-miss (e.g.,"'The Cars' albums are really nouveaucabulary.") |
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