November 2003 (v6 i3)
Doubting the moon landing since 1997
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Where can I find UT's loosest guys?

Women around campus agree: UT has some of the hottest guys in the state of Texas. But what use is looking at them if you can’t score? Here is the guide to finding the loosest, sluttiest guys on and off campus.

These filthy, nasty cocks will stick it in ANYTHING! If you’ve been around the block a few times and developed a reputation for being a tart, the licentious residents of Melrose feel your pain—the burning during urination. These forgiving sluts don’t care where you’ve been, and they’re known for getting into some hot guy-on-guy action.

Honors Dorms
If you really want a man-slut, check into the dorms known for having the largest male to female ratio. You can rely on these intelligent but indiscriminate tramps to teach you the basics of anatomy and sex education. As soon as the hunks in the honors dorms put down the books, they’re ready to jump into bed.

You won’t believe how slutty the nymphomaniacs in Dobie are. Smart, too—they’ve all got master’s in cunnilinguistics! We highly recommend these midnight cowboys when your boyfriend “has a headache.” If you’re looking to lay down a few bucks, check out the food court, where the Dobie Courtesans can make your evening pleasurable for the right price.

Jester East
Some of the most promiscuous co-eds can be found in Jester East. These dudes will give it up for just dinner and roses. Watch out, gentlemen: if your woman is spending a lot of time with her “study buddy” in Jester, it might be time to review how well you’ve been satisfying her. Here’s a hint: if you don’t go downtown every Friday night, you’ll find yourself having a hard time with nowhere to go, if you catch the drift!

Stephen F. Austin High School
These dudes are barely legal! If you ladies have always wanted to be someone’s first time, the party boys at SFAHS will whore it out to anyone. Whatever your fetish—Swedish guys, German guys, innocent farm guys—you can find what you’re looking for in the biology lab, where you can join the boys for some sextra-curricular research under the hood vent!
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