October 2003 (v6 i2)
Rockin' into orbit since 1997
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concerns and praise
from our literate public

Iím pop kitsch
Hey I saw a shirt with my picture on it at a local vintage clothing store! But it was 18 bucks and I couldnít afford it! But, hey! I guess Iím still famous! I still got it! Iím still in charge of your days and nights, baby! Wah, wah wah!
          Scott Baio
          Loves Joanie right back

Donít worry about us
Hello, kids. I just wanted to tell you all that my colleagues and I do indeed love the sight and smell of your excrement. So please continue to neglect to flush the toilet, and feel free to dispose of your saliva wherever you please. We understand that you lead very busy lives of living off your parents and spilling sodas and weíd like to allow you all the convenience you deserve on behalf of us worthless peons.
          R. Delonge
          Sarcastic custodian

Intended for The Daily Texan
This is in response to Mr. Blakeís letter on Wednesday concerning the trash problem on campus. YOU SIR ARE A FASCIST AND A COMMUNIST! I disagree and I liken you to a twisted 1984-meets-Blade-Runner-meets-Sesame Street type oligarch.
          Typically blowing things out of proportion

Howís it goiní?
Hi, Iím Mike. Whatís your name? Thatís nice. So, do you like this class? Uh-huh. Me too. How did you do on the test? Yeah? Cool. Anyway...
          Mike from your class
          Trying to get laid

Hi honey!
Oh, Iím fine. The doctor says if I donít stop being so lonely I might die, but you donít worry about that. Youíve got too much school and parties and friends to worry about your mother. Did you get the check I sent you? Did I pay your cell phone bill on time? So what are your plans for the weekend? I might go to the mall and do some early Christmas shopping. Well, anyway, hope youíre doing well.
          Your Mom
          Laying on the guilt trip

I like it up the middle, and Iíll make house-calls, no matter how long your distance.
          Your phone cord
          Ready and willing
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