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mailbag concerns and praise
from our literate public |
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I’m pop kitsch
Hey I saw a shirt with my picture on it at a local vintage clothing store! But it was 18 bucks and I couldn’t afford it! But, hey! I guess I’m still famous! I still got it! I’m still in charge of your days and nights, baby! Wah, wah wah!
Scott Baio
Loves Joanie right back
Don’t worry about us
Hello, kids. I just wanted to tell you all that my colleagues and I do indeed love the sight and smell of your excrement. So please continue to neglect to flush the toilet, and feel free to dispose of your saliva wherever you please. We understand that you lead very busy lives of living off your parents and spilling sodas and we’d like to allow you all the convenience you deserve on behalf of us worthless peons.
R. Delonge
Sarcastic custodian
Intended for The Daily Texan
This is in response to Mr. Blake’s letter on Wednesday concerning the trash problem on campus. YOU SIR ARE A FASCIST AND A COMMUNIST! I disagree and I liken you to a twisted 1984-meets-Blade-Runner-meets-Sesame Street type oligarch.
Anybody
Typically blowing things out of proportion
How’s it goin’?
Hi, I’m Mike. What’s your name? That’s nice. So, do you like this class? Uh-huh. Me too. How did you do on the test? Yeah? Cool. Anyway...
Mike from your class
Trying to get laid
Hi honey!
Oh, I’m fine. The doctor says if I don’t stop being so lonely I might die, but you don’t worry about that. You’ve got too much school and parties and friends to worry about your mother. Did you get the check I sent you? Did I pay your cell phone bill on time? So what are your plans for the weekend? I might go to the mall and do some early Christmas shopping. Well, anyway, hope you’re doing well.
Your Mom
Laying on the guilt trip
Kinky
I like it up the middle, and I’ll make house-calls, no matter how long your distance.
Your phone cord
Ready and willing |
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