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mailbag concerns and praise
from our literate public |
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Noted in passing...
Hey. Did you hear Karen is getting transferred to store 184? I heard she might become store manager. I think that’s bullshit; she can be so lazy. Anyway, do you work on Friday? I do. Work sucks, dude. Customers are so stupid. Let’s talk more about these types of things later and repeatedly.
Jennifer C.
Some girl you work with
I know, right?
I know, right? I know that I know a certain thing, but do you think that this is right? That is, my knowledge of it? Do you believe that it is correct that I know? Because I do know, but I am looking for some sort of approval from you.
Brock Bates
Esteemed grammarian
Lawsuit pending
I know they may be part of the public idiom at this point, and I know you don’t make any money from your publication, and I know I had no part in the creation of the words (just the good sense to copyright them), but you even think about saying phat or def and I will sic my lawyers on you. Go get them dollas.
Russell Simmons
President, Def Jam Records
Real
Dear Editor-man
Dude, I am so high right now.
Your tuition bill
I want...
Celebrities... explosions... romance… violence... sex... violent sex… celebrities… car chases… fashion… sports bloopers… furniture… explosions… violent sex… celebrities... big fast cars… rape trials...
Short-Attention-Span America
Buck Up, Kid
This ain’t the end of the world, see. This is just the beginning. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders and you’re going places, see. When it rains it pours, but every cloud has a silver lining, see—a rainbow with a pot of gold at the end and all that jazz. So go for the gold, kid, and shoot for the stars. You’ll find your calling. Myeh, see.
Edward G. Robinson
Cliched, indiscriminately vague, uninspired |
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