April/May 2003 (v5 i6)
Worried about your future since 1997
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concerns and praise
from our literate public
Editor's Note: In a departure from our usual methodology, this month's letters section includes two letters that were sent to us via email. We've got to admit: we've been making the other ones up.

Dubious praise
Your website is funny. Expecially the editorial. Its so great to see people use satire as an excuse to be 'witty'. Whats your excuse for being stupidóbecause your American, Texan, Southern......? Anyways what does it matter? What matters is your giving people a reason to laugh in times of despair. Your staff and members seem so educated on the world and its different facets. I thank you for the laughs. I guess Texas really is a travesty.
          Peace, viva Springsteen, Love,

Shaq Attack
Yo. I dunk ball in basket. You know this true. SLAM! That is how I do it. Try to be as tall and big as me. You cannot. I will dunk your head, you stupid.
          Shaquille O'Neal

Travesty's wrong about frats
Dear Travesty's Idea of a Frat Party,
     I'm not sorry I missed you the other night. All those white people drinking beer out of a trough. Hordes of airhead girls standing around looking dumb. Wow. Listen, I gotta ask: did you step in a time-travel capsule and attend yourself back in the 70s and 80s? I don't know how to break it to you, but things have changed since then. The guys at a REAL frat party actually manage to have fun and enjoy the company of female attendees without committing a rape.
     Oh yes, and today's frat parties (contrasted to apt parties thrown by independents, for instance) raise money for AIDS and other "causes."
     So, Travesty frat party, I sure won't be attending you, but I will continue to go to some official UT Greek parties. In that ever-attractive reverse snob way of yours, I'm sure you have no stake in the truth and will continue to think yourself morally superior to Greeks.
          A Deer Caught in Headlights
          (That's your term. Translation: a beautiful, intelligent woman you haven't a clue how to attract)
Editor's Note: Huh... Frat parties have "causes"? Could it be that Greeks give money to causes to try to make up for their institutionalized hedonism and conspicuous consumption? Or is it penance for the fact that Greeks are consistently the only group that manages to occasionally kill a couple of its pledges in the membership process?
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