CHRISTIE
"When Sisqo re-released his greatest hits and I made out to the ENTIRE album with my best friend's older brother. It RULED! Can I get pregnant from Frenching?" |
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ERIC
"My finance professor told me that he takes photographs of flowers as a hobby. Now that I don't respect him as a man, I couldn't care less that I'm failing his class." |
JOHN
"That episode of "Family Matters" with the racial tension / race riot where Steve builds a robot and gets turned down by Laura. TBS owns my soul." |
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KATHRYN
"After the July Package rejuvenated the Doha Development Agenda, I was absolutely crushed when the WTO committee on subsidies extended the transition period for the elimination of export subsidy for a whole year." |
STEPHANIE
"A friend of mine threw up in my apartment complex's pool. Half an hour later, I watched two neighbors jump right in and I didn't say a word. Suckas!" |
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MUSTACHIO
"Da mos' magicky time in da jaer is in da now, when I works in da Walgreens and gets a discount on animaltronic santas dat sing anda shake and sells sexy ornaments to thick but good-smelling ladies. Hallelogey!" |
CHANICE
"When Phillip Geiggar, the hottest football player at UT, took a Travesty from me. Oh wait, this isn't my diary. Shoot." |
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MIKEY
"One night I was so incredibly bored that I shaved my beard. I immediately regretted my choice and the tears running down my cheeks, unhindered by fuzziness, only reinforced my sorrow. I spent the rest of the night trying to grow it back." |
