September 2004 (v7 i1)
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New Books by
Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen
Look out, America! These new Olsen twins adventures are so fun that they're barely legal ? but they are! Join the twins as they meet super-cute Ben Affleck at a coke party. Everything is TOTALLY AWESOME until naughty Ben gambles away their massive fortune. Oh, no! Impoverished to the point of crashing on Dave Coulier's couch, the twins are forced to multiply their earnings by visiting a back-alley cloning clinic. Moments before the clones ripen, Chechen rebels attack, and out of the smoking rubble emerges a two-headed Olsen Beast! Will the twins defeat the creature in time to make it to the MTV Movie Awards?!?!
Mary Kate & Ashley
Smile Vacuously in Paris


The twins are in Paris! — for the millionth time. Follow along as your favorite duo fails to appreciate the Louvre and enjoy their fat-free croissants! Experience the dangerous excitement of the City of Lights alongside Mary Kate as she rides helmetless on her French boyfriend's moped and breaks her malnourished neck.
Mary Kate & Ashley
Flaunt Their Wealth in the Third World


The twins decide to visit their fans — and pick up some diet tips — in scenic Somalia! Ashley meets a cute native boy but is totally jealous of his tiny waistline. But then he gets killed by guerrilla warfare and the girls are off to Paris again! C'est la vie!
Mary Kate & Ashley
Dabble in Trepanation


Mary Kate and Ashley bring a whole new meaning to the word "airhead!" The ancient art of drilling a hole in one's skull to expand consciousness has never been so awesome! And they thought picking out new outfits was a headache!
Mary Kate & Ashley
Drop Acid for the First Time at Burning Man


MK&A take the trip of a lifetime when they journey deep into the desert and suck on a sugarcube of bad LSD. Ashley takes a spirit journey of a different variety when the disembodied head of Kimmy Gibbler vomits the universe into a thimble and spreads the tapestry so thin that she, like, soul-merges with the sky fantastic.
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