February 2004 (v6 i4)
Squat thrusting since 1997
 Jump to Issue  

Buy Merchandise

AIM Buddy Icons

Desktop Backgrounds


Wishbone to take on more 'adult' roles
by Christie Young, Staff Writer

HOLLYWOOD — Wishbone, the loveable Jack Russell terrier responsible for bringing such novels as Treasure Island and The Tempest to life, announced a drastic career change that shocked hundreds of devoted fans at a press conference last Tuesday. Reportedly unsatisfied after having achieved only four Daytime Emmys, Wishbone's publicist announced that the dog would like to experiment with more "adult" roles. Wishbone was awarded the role of Jean-Luc, the suave, women-loving paladin on Oxygen's new Harlequin series, set to begin airing next month.

After spending nearly five years solving mysteries as a costume-clad canine hero, Wishbone left the show without notice.

"It was just too much pressure - I always had to be 'on,'" said Wishbone. "And to tell you the truth, I don't even know how to read. But this new show is quite the carnal delight. It even sends tingly tickle-shivers down my netherparts!"

The new show, which will feature reenactments of such literary works as The Repairman's Proposal and The Firefighter and the Seamstress, contains less dialogue than what Wishbone viewers are accustomed to, yet "retains that genuine, trustworthy quality that 'Bone always delivers," said studio executives. "He really seems to know what he's doing in there."

"The creative freedom I have with this show allows me to go from a ho-hum cable-guy to a frightfully erotic Jean-Luc in the blink of an eye!" said Wishbone, wagging his tail excitedly. "It's remarkably climactic."

Although Oxygen has refused to supply any details concerning the show, producers have admitted that it is better suited for "more mature audiences."

"All we can say is, get ready to be acquainted with woman's best friend," said the series director, Janet Wilson. "Wishbone will make you wish that there was more Jean-Luc in every man -- or woman for that matter."

Despite the provocative nature of the show, Wishbone is committed to delivering his viewers continuous high-quality plots in addition to well-developed characters.

"Take, for instance, an episode in which Jean-Luc arouses the librarian in the science-fiction section of the Grand Central Library," said Wishbone. "At first she refuses to be deflowered by a stranger, but Jean-Luc's titillating suggestions and salacious kisses are too much for even this reluctant book worm!"
Back to the February 2004 issue
©1997-2006 Texas Travesty | Copyright & Legalese | Issue Credits | Texas Travesty Archives Home