February 2004 (v6 i4)
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bringing you the latest in hip verbiage

Fucktastic (n): short for "fan-fucking-tastic" (e.g., "Dippin' Dots are some fucktastic futuristic treats.")

Hetero (adj): 1. awkward, lame, or vaguely negative (e.g. "My Icelandic studies professor is making us write a 1200-page essay on Iceland. How hetero is that?") 2. one who is awkward or lame (e.g. "That guy is running around throwing water on people again. What a hetero!")

(Insert your name here) (n): me or I in third person (e.g. "Did you see how great (insert your name here) looked yesterday?")

Sporking (v): to spoon with protrusion

Mofogos (n): motherfuckin' go-getters who make you look bad with their desire to overachieve

Onemorething (n): an unnecessary question that delays an early departure from class

Course packet (n): something of very little inherent value

Outkast (n): roommate who keeps playing the exact same song on a loop for three weeks straight and doesn't own headphones

Home for Christmas (n): a dreaded prison-like confinement (e.g. "Tom got in a fight at the party and had to go home for Christmas.")

Tomato farm (v): to feel guilty about not being able to afford responsible consumerism (e.g. "I hate tomato farming, so that's why I like prostitutes.")

Extreme Liberal (v): [also see Extreme Conservative] 1. to sit on one's ass and contribute absolutely nothing to society except for pompous, irrational literature and body odor. 2. to shoot skeet (e.g. "With all Craig's extreme liberaling, the clay pigeons are beginning to clutter the lawn.")

Syllabus (n): 1. a fleeting sense of order only to be lost moments later 2. a strange infatuation with pastel colors

Mad cow (n): a domineering girlfriend (e.g. "Man, ever since Brad got that mad cow, his spine's gone soft.")

Salad fork (n): an extra arm (e.g. "The mutant was eating the main course with his salad fork.")

Jelly (n): 1. the thing to say after "peanut, peanut butter, and" 2. a concentrated amount of nastiness

Ghetto tag (n): the traditional childhood game played with switchblades

Coldplayer (n): 1. someone who likes to listen to Coldplay 2. v. to knock up Gwyneth Paltrow

Retainer (n): a diaper (e.g. "Since I started college, I only wear my retainer at night.")
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