March 2003 (v5 i5)
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Bush to call off war
Insect in web inspires peace
by Kristin Hillery, Staff Writer

A single tear drips down a
lonely cheek

[illustration: Aaron Stanush]
WASHINGTON, DC — A monarch butterfly caught in a spider web in the White House garden convinced President George W. Bush to call off the impending war with Iraq Thursday morning. Shocked by the sight of a beautiful, innocent creature trapped by a black widow spider, Bush stopped and stared for over three hours as he rethought plans to take action against Iraq, missing numerous meetings and his noon pilates class. Tears streamed down the President's face with each tired flap of the butterfly's exhausted wings.

White House Chief Zoologist Dr. Harold Macker was called in to analyze the situation. "Mr. Bush stumbled upon an example of what you would call the dark side of nature. You see, the Danaus plexippus, or monarch butterfly, is actually poisonous to its predators. That butterfly will undoubtedly be a deadly breakfast for the unsuspecting arachnid!"

Bush mourns the loss of his butterfly

[illustration: Kristin Hillery]
Despite Dr. Macker's explanation, President Bush saw the butterfly as a much-needed warning as well as an inspiration for resolving conflicts overseas. "The butterfly, which I have named Hope, is a symbol of war. Although trapped in an axis of evil spun by a wicked terrorist-spider, this butterfly will get its revenge by poisoning the spider. Witnessing this wonder of nature has opened my eyes to many things, like how silly war is and how pretty butterflies are." Bush later went on to say that the spider and butterfly should be regarded as true American heroes for their efforts in sacrificing themselves for the betterment of mankind.

Anti-war organizations across the world were grateful for the butterfly and spider's innovative way of protesting the war. Steven Reynolds, vice-president of Philadelphia-based Break Me Off a Peace, felt relieved that someone had finally come up with a way to express disagreement with going to war. "We've been trying and trying to come up with a way to let President Bush know that peace is the answer, but luckily these two fine insects did something that got his attention and finally changed his mind."
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