September 2002 (v5 i1)
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september hottie

The Travesty's Custodial Wench
Can words even begin to describe, oh delightful Sprite of Sanitization, how sincerely we appreciate your sponge, your mop, your glistening yet modest soap-pail? Perhaps someday we can afford more accomodation surroundings. But for now, oh Angel of Antiseptic, our basement will have to do!

vital info
Job Duties: polishing the marble busts of previous editors, filling our kiddie pool with Boone’s Farm
Hobbies: scrubbing, scouring, buffing, and translating proto-Germanic texts into Elizabethan English
Custodial Wench: September Hottie of the Month
Turn-ons: plaid skirts, Swiss Army knives
Turn-offs: dirty old men, Japanese cars
Motto: "Clean make sexy, sexy make clean."

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