October 2006 (v9 i2)
Wetting Our Pants Since 1997
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Eight roommates enjoying West Campus high-rise
Amenities include HDTV, majestic view of construction pit
by Stephen Short, Associate Editor

Uh-oh. what kind of mildly-humorous
situation will the lack of room in this
bed lead to?
WEST CAMPUS — Eight residents of a three-bedroom luxury apartment in The Sterling Texan Villas at Rio Grande have enjoyed living together since their lease began in August. After an exhaustive apartment search last spring, the four male and four female residents decided the Sterling Texan Villas’ proximity to campus and bountiful amenities made it the ideal place to reside for 12 months.

“All of the four bedroom apartments were pre-leased by fall, so we had to take the three bedroom if we wanted to live here,” explained resident Kimberly Dalton as she collapsed her trundle bed to create a path to the bathroom. “Because there are only three rooms, we had to draw straws to see who would sleep in the living room. Oh, and only two of the showers work so it’s four people to a bathroom.”

Dalton added: “Sterling Texan Villas are right across the street from frat parties, so I think we chose a great location. We did find this six bedroom house in Hyde Park that was $2200 cheaper each month, but then we would’ve had to take the bus!”

Each roommate pays $550 per month for their highly coveted luxury apartment featuring: a plasma screen HDTV, marble countertops, polished concrete floors and stainless steel appliances. For an additional $180 per month, residents can have their own underground parking spot.

Roommate Aaron Levenson shares Dalton’s optimistic outlook on the West Campus high-rise.

“I was pretty lucky to get a room facing the inside of the building,” boasted Levenson, turning up his stereo to drown out the conversation in the hallway outside his bedroom. “Kimberly and Stacy’s room overlooks this huge construction pit, so they wake up every morning at five when the workers start to bore into the earth.”

Due to their close quarters, the eight roommates’ friendships have grown stronger.

“Rob and Aaron hatched this crazy scheme to compete in a trivia contest with Kimberly and Brittany, so that they could move-in to the girls’ larger bedroom,” cackled resident Josh Protsky, filling out a second repair order for the dishwasher and garbage disposal. “And then in the wacky mayhem that ensued, I bought a pet monkey named Mauricio!”

Careful not to wake fellow living room resident Dan Patell, Protsky continued, “And don’t get me started about the ugly, hairy, naked guy that lives in an apartment directly viewable from our balcony window. That guy is sooo hairy!”

The eight residents’ close friendships also allow them to come together in times of need.

“There was a power outage and in the zany pandemonium that ensued, Mauricio escaped,” recalled Levenson. “So Maggie, Stacy, Kimberly, Rob, Brittany, Dan, Josh and I searched the hall by candlelight to find that wacky monkey; and as we rounded the corner this guy speaking Spanish was standing there with a dog cage.”

After falsely assuming the man was a criminal or an animal patrolman, the eight roommates soon discovered he was a neighboring resident.

“Jorge is one of our best friends now. He’s always coming over at random times to humorously interact with us,” said Protsky, as he Photoshopped his roommates’ heads onto bodies from the cast of Friends. “Like this one time when Jorge walked in on Dan and Kimberly making out and said, ‘Whatsa going on here!’”

Levenson added: “And then we laughed and laughed.”
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