Hey boys and ghouls! It’s already Halloween, and the costumes aren’t the only scary things appearing on campus. Did you hear about the misspelled tattoo freshman Joe Schwab got? I before E, Joe! I just hope he can spell searing laser-induced pain when he gets that thing removed.
Did someone say spell? The most depressing spell cast this Halloween was by electrical engineering senior Mark Polvitz. Sorry Marky, you can’t get laid by the metaphysically summoned!
Speaking of marks, junior Samantha Piles got some less-than-passing marks on her government test Wednesday. It turns out the Federalists didn’t include George Bush or Dick Cheney. Looks like she won’t be able to screw her way out of this one!
But Cheney isn’t the only dick in question. Senior Richard “Dick” Jones has some explaining to do after he was found alongside his girlfriend’s roommate, Amy Rudolfo in the Castilian laundry room. No amount of Tide will remove his stains of infidelity.
Watch out! It looks like “infi-dull-ity,” is how Amy described her encounter with Little Dicky. Apparently, missionary in the dark on an unbalanced load is no more titillating than missionary in the dark on your roommate’s bed.
Speaking of titillating, did anyone witness the train that was run on biology major Mary Wickerson late Friday night at DKR Stadium? It turns out the Baylor football team weren’t the only ones that ended up third and short in the red zone.
Speaking of yardage, did you see that mad-dash Rebecca Jones made from the KA house on Friday morning? She was looking like two parts tramp and one part slut in that leftover 80s costume at 9 a.m.
