February 2006 (v8 i4)
Hiding in the bushes since 1997!
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Friend who smoked pot dead, claims father
Wayward teen has about-face on drug addiction
by Stephen Short, Associate Editor

I hate it when my dreams consist only of
Photoshopped images.
THE WOODLANDS, TX — Ninth-grader Ben Hirschowitz listened in trepidation Friday evening as his father, Ari Hirschowitz, articulated over dinner the fatal and unavoidable consequences of teen drug abuse.

Mr. Hirschowitz suspected his son was “addicted to marijuana” after observing Grateful Dead songs and lavender incense emanating from Ben’s room. In addition, he had witnessed Ben’s increased appetite for key lime pie submersed in cereal.

“I thought I needed to have an intervention with Ben before his life started spinning out of control,” said Mr. Hirschowitz, referencing his earlier lecture on teen drug use. “I sat him down, placed my hands on his shoulders and calmly but firmly said, ‘Ben, I know you are experimenting with narcotics. That’s what marijuana is Ben, a Schedule I narcotic.’”

“Then I looked him straight in the eyes,” continued Mr. Hirschowitz, “and sternly said, ‘Narcotics kill.’”

Mr. Hirschowitz further described his successful drug intervention methodology.

“Dr. Phil says you should be direct and honest with teens when talking about chemical dependency, so I didn’t want to be too over-the-top or dramatic,” explained Mr. Hirschowitz. “So I told him the story of my friend Sam from high school.”

“Sam was the big man on campus. He was president of the student body, captain of the soccer team, and he drove a cherry red Mustang,” recounted Mr. Hirschowitz. “But one day Sam wanted to fit in with the cool kids, and he smoked grass.”

Tears welling in his eyes, Mr. Hirschowitz somberly paused to regain his composure.

“Then he died,” Mr. Hirschowitz sobbed. “And so will my son if he doesn’t quit his crippling addiction.”

Profoundly moved by his father’s cautionary tale, Ben vowed to never abuse narcotics again.

“I had no idea weed was that bad for me,” professed Ben. “If I did, I would never have started using it. I’ll never smoke pot again,” Ben paused. “My dad has suffered so much by losing his best friend. I don’t want marijuana to claim his son, too.”

Ben clarified his motivation to become sober.

“Dr. Phil says the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem with drugs, and I admit it — I do have a problem,” asserted Ben. “Now I won’t have to face a life of sin, loneliness and welfare checks.”

Following dinner, Ben pledged his abstinence to his mother.

“I told her I would never smoke pot again,” said Ben. “I mean, if Dad’s friend died after only smoking once, I could be rotting in the ground right now. I’m lucky to be alive.”

Pausing briefly to reflect upon his father’s intervention, Ben questioned, “Wait, didn’t Dad already tell me his friend Sam died from premarital sex?”
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