February 2006 (v8 i4)
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Student ‘pod-casted’ for listening to Walkman
by Mark Tisdale, Contributing Writer

It’s times like these that I wish I didn’t
hurt so much inside.
CAMPUS — Freshman Jesse Radcliffe unknowingly committed a fashion faux pas Wednesday when classmates observed him listening to music on a Sony Discman.

“Oh. My. God. No one uses that black brick anymore,” said Lacy Coleman in disbelief as Radcliffe entered the room. Adjusting her hoop earrings, Coleman continued, “I mean, is he kidding? I haven’t seen one of those since Clinton’s second term.”

Consumers routinely utilized the Sony Discman, a portable compact disc player, throughout the early 1990s. Impressive sales of Apple’s portable iPod MP3 player have caused music aficionados refusing to abandon their obsolete equipment to become cast from popular society.

Sociology professor Walter Sherman terms this cultural phenomenon as “pod-casting.”

“We see this behavior frequently with the constant evolution of consumer electronics. Out with the old and in with the new,” declared Sherman. “New technology has continually allowed consumers to listen to music in more sophisticated mediums. It happened when consumers ditched their portable cassette players for CD players like the Discman.”

“Suddenly you’re treated like a leper if you don’t have the latest gadget,” added Sherman, retying his Doc Martens.

Classmate Nathan Colmes takes issue with Radcliffe’s Discman as well.

“I hope he’s trying to be ironic,” said Colmes. “No one in my frat would even talk to you if you used that thing. It’s like wearing a toga to an 80’s party.”

Colmes added, shaking his head, “Douche bag.”

Radcliffe’s mother also participates in “pod-casting” her son.

“I can’t believe my son is still using that DiscBot I bought him for his twelfth birthday,” lamented Mrs. Radcliffe.

Exercising to a VHS copy of Richard Simmons’ Sweatin’ to the Oldies 3, Mrs. Radcliffe panted, “I can’t live without my iPod. I can access my Josh Groban collection at the push of a button.” Watering her Chia Pet, she continued, “I think Jesse will be getting an iPod Naynar for his birthday this year.”

Unaware he had been “pod-casted,” Radcliffe touted the benefits of his Discman.

“I know retro stuff is pretty cool right now, so that’s why I use this Discman,” explained Radcliffe. “Besides, I don’t have to mess with my computer, and it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to buy one.”

Still, Radcliffe does admit there are downsides to using a Discman.

“I’ve noticed a higher proportion of people rolling their eyes at me as I walk by.” Adjusting his hyper color windbreaker, Radcliffe grumbled, “And I could do without the shoving and elbowing I’ve been getting from my friends. The slightest bump makes this fucking thing skip.”

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