April/May 2005 (v7 i6)
Fun and Games Until Somone Gets Hurt Since 1997
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We are SO going clubbing!
by Leah Armstrong, Girl in High Heels and Mini-Skirt

Hey it's me Leah, and my super best babe and roommate Kelsey's here, too. We've spent the past three and a half hours getting ready to go downtown tonight. If you happen to hear the clickity-clack of stilettos and spot two perfect 10s coming your way, it's no accident. We just want to make it clear that we are in fact going clubbing, and there's nothing you can do to stop us.

Hey, can you plug in my straightener for me? Thanks, Kels.

Okay, I can just tell from the way you're eyeing us that you're thinking, "Oh, look at them. They think they're SO important." Well, the truth is that we are important. Have you seen how smokin' my girl Kelsey is right now? Don't get all bent out of shape about it. I mean, we don't act all snobby when we see you heading down to the LAN cave. One time, we totally saw this geeky kid on the elevator, and we made him think we were all into him and everything. So I go, "Hey, wanna make out right here, right now?" And you could tell he TOTALLY wanted to because his face turned all red. But guess what? Right then Kelsey goes, "Yeah RIGHT!" Can you believe that? He even started crying. Okay, Kels says he didn't really cry, but imagine if he did!

Seriously, we are going to have so much fun tonight. Earlier, we were sitting around in our sweatpants looking all drab, and then I so was like to Kelsey, "Hey, let's get all made up and go out!" But Kels was all, "Well, you go have fun without me, I'll just hang around here," 'cause none of her tops were matching, right? OH MY GOD ya'll she was SO dramatic about it. So I'm all, "K-dog, you know I can't go out without my lady pimp for life! What about the green one?" You should have seen the face she made when I said that — I started laughing so hard, I snorted!

Anyway, thanks to a pep talk from little ol' moi, Kelsey's wearing her SMOKIN' outfit now, and I'm like, "Yeah, baby! That's my girl!" But she's still whining about everything ya know like, "Leah! I can't wear this! I look so trashy, and I feel like my boobs are all exposed." So I have to calm her down, and I'm like, "Oh my God. Seriously, Kels. Everyone at the club is going to be envying you. Ask anyone, Kelsey. Oh, and about your twins being all 'exposed?' It's called cleavage, hun."

Wait! I almost forgot: If you want to find us, we'll probably be hitting up a bunch of clubs, so just take a chance and maybe you'll get lucky. What's that? OH MY GOD KELSEY! You are so BAD!!!! She says: "We'll be the ones grinding on the floor!" Okay, so catch us at the club if you can. Oh, but yeah ? only fine boys please! Kelsey's looking for a man!
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