April/May 2005 (v7 i6)
Fun and Games Until Somone Gets Hurt Since 1997
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concerns and praise
from our literate public

I want you to hold me
C'mon baby, what are you afraid of? I want your hands on me. Go ahead, no one's watching. Load my chamber. Put your finger there. Squeeze me. Oh yeah, I went off. Do it again. Again. AGAIN YES!
          A gun
          Loves to bang

I'm so cold and bored
Seriously, this year needs to hurry the fuck up and end or I swear I'm gonna lose it.
          Santa Claus
          Giver of gifts

Hey man!!!!!
I haven't seen you in forever, dude. What's up? Just chillin'? Me too, man. College is pretty crazy. Alright, later man.
          Pete "The Monkey" Thornton
          Guy you knew in high school

Dying to meet you
Why is everyone trying to avoid me? As soon as I get close, they run off to the hospital, like I actually make them sick or something. In general I make people cry. I know not everyone is ready to meet me, but c'mon I'm not as bad as you would think. You're going to run into me sometime, it's inevitable.
          Cold and lifeless

Looks painful
Yeah, I've had that happen to me before. Don't you just hate that? I do it all the time. Yeah, right there, you hit that spot right there, and the pain is unbelievable. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Jeez.
          Your friend
          Isn't helping

You picked a terrible place to live. I want to move. If I don't get out of here soon, I'm going to have another outbreak. I am dripping with frustration right now. I need drugs!
          Your allergies
          In full swing

Fading away
I told you to take better care of me. You could have done so much, but look where we are now. You just thought you could use me forever and I would always be there. Well now the rides over, jerk.
          Your favorite T-shirt
          Falling apart at the seams

Got questions for us?
Ask, but know that abstinence is the answer: letters@texastravesty.com
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