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mailbag concerns and praise
from our literate public |
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I want you to hold me
C'mon baby, what are you afraid of? I want your hands on me. Go ahead, no one's watching. Load my chamber. Put your finger there. Squeeze me. Oh yeah, I went off. Do it again. Again. AGAIN YES!
A gun
Loves to bang
I'm so cold and bored
Seriously, this year needs to hurry the fuck up and end or I swear I'm gonna lose it.
Santa Claus
Giver of gifts
Hey man!!!!!
I haven't seen you in forever, dude. What's up? Just chillin'? Me too, man. College is pretty crazy. Alright, later man.
Pete "The Monkey" Thornton
Guy you knew in high school
Dying to meet you
Why is everyone trying to avoid me? As soon as I get close, they run off to the hospital, like I actually make them sick or something. In general I make people cry. I know not everyone is ready to meet me, but c'mon I'm not as bad as you would think. You're going to run into me sometime, it's inevitable.
Death
Cold and lifeless
Looks painful
Yeah, I've had that happen to me before. Don't you just hate that? I do it all the time. Yeah, right there, you hit that spot right there, and the pain is unbelievable. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Jeez.
Your friend
Isn't helping
Irritated
You picked a terrible place to live. I want to move. If I don't get out of here soon, I'm going to have another outbreak. I am dripping with frustration right now. I need drugs!
Your allergies
In full swing
Fading away
I told you to take better care of me. You could have done so much, but look where we are now. You just thought you could use me forever and I would always be there. Well now the rides over, jerk.
Your favorite T-shirt
Falling apart at the seams
Got questions for us?
Ask, but know that abstinence is the answer: letters@texastravesty.com |
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