April/May 2005 (v7 i6)
Fun and Games Until Somone Gets Hurt Since 1997
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A Helpful Guide to Incoming Freshmen
Tips from current students

If you ever have to go to the bathroom during class, it's not a problem. Just raise your hand and politely ask your professor if you can be excused.

Did you take AP classes in high school? Did you test out of any classes? Be sure to have your scores memorized and tell them to everyone you meet — people at UT find that very impressive.

Watch out for seniors!

College libraries are totally different from regular libraries. Feel free to talk to people around you or answer your cell phone.

Buy all of your books and school supplies from the University Co-op. Everybody knows it's the best deal.


Cool places to hang out

Union Underground
This place is where it's at! Bowling, pool tables, arcade-who says you have to leave campus to have a good time? If you can spare a moment, you won't strike out because this wicked-crazy black light-illuminated hangout is exciting and not boring at all.

Your Dorm Room
Pass the Ozarka bottle full of vodka around, because it's time to get wasted at the coolest spot on campus — the one with your prom pictures and Starry Night poster decorating its sad walls.
Home Life vs. College Life
You would complain if your mom made spaghetti twice in one week. You'll eat a dried up rotten banana off the floor, so long as you find it first.
After acing your pre-cal test, you bragged to all your about how you didn't even study. You'll fight off tears of self-doubt after you spend all night studying for a test you still fail.
Teachers changed your D to a C if you did a meaningless extra credit assignment. Professors will be happy to sign off on a Q-drop form you pick up from the Dean's office — if you're lucky.
Having to answer to your parents was a drag. Trying to get money from your parents is a drag.
Your Academy Award-winning performance convinced your mom that you were sick and should stay home. Don't feel like going to class? Just roll over and go back to sleep.
People bragged about drinking. People brag about drinking.
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