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Travesty Confessions Awkward stories! Wacky secrets! |
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Helping Hand
My significant other, Rick, grew up in a family of all boys, but I've always been a girly girl, so when we visited his family I had to try extra hard to impress his dad and brothers. They were fixing a car one afternoon, so I hung around, hoping to help. They kept teasing me about not knowing what a transmission or an engine fire was. Then Rick's dad yelled, "Shoot! I'm all out of lube!" Seeing my big chance to come to the rescue, I ran upstairs and grabbed my gallon of KY Jelly, but instead of thanking me, Rick's dad and brothers cracked up and wouldn't tell me why! Not only that, my vibrator fell out of my purse, got caught in the thingymajig, made the car explode, and killed two of Rick's brothers! Oops.
Denise, 24
[Rating: 4 C batteries] |
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Close Encounter
My cutie pie, Gary, and his buddy Kevin are thisclose. They've known each other since they were kids and now they live together. They're simply adorable: they always finish each other's sentences and pat each other on the butt when they go shopping for cashmere turtleneck sweaters. One day, I got off work early and stopped by their place to surprise Gary. I went to his room and he and Kevin were wrestling naked on the bed! I was so embarrassed, because I had left my makeup bag on the night table that weekend, and I think they might have seen my vibrator sticking out of it. Yikes!
Sasha, 23
[Rating: 2 AA batteries] |
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 Trick-or-Treat
Last Halloween, my fiancé and I were really excited about giving out homemade candy apples to the little trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood. When the first group of kids came to the door, I gave them each an apple and complimented them on such adorable costumes. But when one of the kids bit into his apple, blood started squirting all over the porch. Somehow my vibrator had gotten inside of the apple, and it had a razorblade stuck to the tip! Ouch!
Brinn, 24
[Rating: 17 DD batteries] |
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What's for Dessert?
After dating for only eight years, Brent said he wanted me to meet his parents! Brent's a real mama's boy, so I was worried his mom wouldn't like me no matter what. Thankfully, things started off pretty smoothly. Although I think Brent's mom was a little sick, because she got this funny look on her face when we started talking about Chesapeake Bay crabs at dinner and I said that Vaseline usually helps with the itching. The next day, my good luck stopped. I was helping Brent's mom make apple pie when my vibrator rolled out of my suitcase, flew downstairs into the kitchen and hit her in the face!
Jennypher, 26
[Rating: 2 watch batteries] |
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Hot and Smelly
After being set up by my best friend, I went on a blind date with her friend from work, James. He was so polite and charming throughout dinner, so of course I said "yes" when he invited me back to his place. But we were so hot for each other that we went into the handicapped stall in the women's bathroom and started fooling around. I was in the middle of giving him a BJ when my vibrator shot out of my purse, landed in the toilet, and splashed diarrhea all over us! Ew!
Hannah, 22
[Rating: 3 car batteries] |
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Share your most shockingest story!! E-mail the Travesty at: letters@texastravesty.com |
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