November 2004 (v7 i3)
Post-Consumer Accelerant Since 1997
 Jump to Issue  


Interactive
Buy Merchandise

AIM Buddy Icons

Desktop Backgrounds

Webcam

I'm exactly like the girl in Garden State!
by Katie Furman, Just like every other girl who's seen the movie

You won't believe what my boyfriend, Josh, said to me the other day. Oh my gosh, I'm being so weird telling you this right now, I'm sorry. Oh yeah, okay, so he totally told me that I'm exactly like Sam, Natalie Portman's character, in Garden State. Aren't you just obsessed with that movie? I am. Gah, that Zach Braff guy is so adorable ? almost as cute as my boyfriend!

The part where Sam and Large make out is so cute!, They're all standing there on top of a tractor yelling into the abyss in the rain and you can just tell they totally want each other. I could so see something like that happening to me.

Anyways, me and Josh were making this awesome mixed CD the other day. Have you heard of the Shins? You probably haven't, but they're this completely awesome new band. But anyhow, out of nowhere, I just had this urge to yell. So I did, and Josh was all, "You are so cute when you do weird stuff like the hot chick in that movie," and I was all, "Awww, you try it &mdash make your own noise and you'll be remembered as the one guy who ever did it." And then we made out for like two hours. It was so romantic.

Do you remember that part where Sam's burying her millionth pet? Okay, well I've had at least like three hamsters die, and just last week I found my fish Charlotte fins up in her tank. If that's not weird, I don't know what is.

Oh! And that part where they're watching those old home videos of Sam ice-skating — I LOVE ice-skating! It's like we're sharing a brain, except I'm the real life version of her. People probably think we're weird and stuff, but once you get to know us we're really cool and weird in a completely awesome way.

You've heard that really beautiful song "Meet Virginia," right? Sometimes I feel like that band Train spied on me and then wrote that song, and then Sam was based off that. Except for the part about her hair always being messy, it is exactly like Sam and me. I mean, sometimes I cuss, sometimes I drink coffee after midnight — I've even worn high heels to the grocery store. Jeez, I'm so abnormal sometimes. I mean, who else would ever just start dancing in the middle of Wal-Mart to the Wallflowers? Really, I'm just weird like that — all the time!

Back to Josh. He's pretty much the best boyfriend in the universe. He doesn't care at all when I bring my baby blanket Snuggie — which is just like Sam's blanket, Tickle! — to spend the night, but that's probably because I lie to him and tell him it's just to keep me warm. Plus, he just put up this huge poster of Natalie Portman on his wall because he said it reminds him so much of me. What a cutie! I bet he wakes up in the middle of the night all the time and sees her and wonders if it's her or me. Sometimes I can't even tell, and that's crazy!
« Back to the November 2004 issue
©1997-2006 Texas Travesty | Copyright & Legalese | Issue Credits | Texas Travesty Archives Home