November 2004 (v7 i3)
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Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen
Mary Kate & Ashley
Get Highand Play Grand Theft Auto


The girls have a smokin' good time when they pick up some sticky icky from Vincent, the dreamiest dank dealer in town! But when he pops in GTA: San Andreas, the girls put down the unicorn one-hitter and pick up their controllers. Too high to drive back to their matching palatial estates, the adorable duo learn how to steal cars that aren't as cool as their Audi A8s.
Mary Kate & Ashley
Awaken Mothra Through Song


When the egg of Mothra washes up on shore, it's up to two singing faeries to retrieve it before Godzilla burns it to a crisp! Unfortunately, the faeries are picked off by a spree killer, leaving Mary Kate and Ashley to take their place! Can their familiarity with Lost in Translation help them adapt to weird-ass Japanese culture? Will a boom mic the length of four Buicks mysteriously appear in the upper left-hand corner of the shot during a climactic battle? The answer to that last one is: probably!
Mary Kate & Ashley
Do Some Fucked Up Shit to a Hobo


Mary Kate and Ashley don't give a fuck who you are. They'll fuck you up without thinking twice, bitch. Do you want to test their mettle, motherfucker? They'll take a cinder block to your pinche face. Oh, so you're poor, huh? Your only home is the sawdust-filled car of a freight train? You'll be begging for more than change when they're working you over with a washboard and sizzling jumper cables.
Mary Kate & Ashley
Interview Jodie Sweetin for the Housekeeping Job


In the midst of a playful cocaine fight in the kitchen, Mary Kate and Ashley hear a feeble knock on the front door. Whoever could it be? Why, it's buck-toothed Stephanie from Full House, and boy has she seen better days. Their hearts aching over her extensive facial scarring and inexplicable tendency to say everything three times, the twins pour her a bowl of milk and pity-hire her as their housekeeper! First task: grab a straw and clean the kitchen. How rude!
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