 Make sure to Rock the Vote, America! by Drew Barrymore, Very Unstable
Hi America! It's me, your favorite reformed wild child, Drew! And guess what I'm into now? No, not marrying Tom Green! That was so 2001. Give up? I'm into politics! I know, I know. I can't believe it either, but making a documentary taught me things that being named one of People's 50 Most Beautiful People never could. So be sure to Rock the Vote, because not voting is like not taking a shower — it stinks!
I mean, yeah, when MTV first asked me to do a Rock the Vote documentary, I was like, "Uhhhh, but... when will I have time to shoot my new movie with Adam Sandler, For Love or For Bowling?" But when they presented the idea, along with four gigantosaurus sacks of money on my doorstep, something clicked: I should be all political and stuff! Teehee!
Have you guys seen the press I've gotten for Rock the Vote? It's even better than my Jan. '95 Playboy cover and Maxim's spread on Charlie's Angel's: Full Throttle — COMBINED! And speaking of rockin' things, didn't those half-naked pics of me and Cammy D and Lucy-Luce look sooooo friggin' hot? It's like I always say, "Less coverage always leads to more!" I'm so naughty, yet so innocent! Being a celebrity sure is a blast and a half! Just like voting!
You know what the best part about making a documentary is? Asking questions instead of having to answer them yourself! I loved gabbing with all those high-up-there government people like Hillary C. Ooooh! I have an idea! I'll throw a government party with lots of the "it" political celebrities like Colin Power (he is so sexy!) and Codomlisa Rice. And at my government party I'll show off my new knowledge of government parties! Wow! They'll be so impressed when they realize I know that there are Republicans and Democrats. Some of those politician people went to school for like two whole decades. Whoa, mama! I was way too busy filming Poison Ivy and doing coke off my lunchables to even graduate high school!
Ok, ok. Since I'm all done and stuff with my documentary awesomeness, I bet you guys can't wait to get the DL on youths and voting. Well, here it is. Most youths don't vote! I sure didn't. There you go! So now when I go on Letterman, I can talk to him about important political thingies, instead of flashing him my 34C thingies. Man, it feels so great to know stuff. Rock the Vote! And that's kicking your ass, America! |
