November 2002 (v5 i3)
Hogging All the White Meat Since 1997
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America Online Introduces
Business IM
Travesty acquires transcript of first 'chat'
by Chris Rose, Staff Writer

Internet Giant America Online recently released an innovative software product for the corporate world: Business Instant Messenger. No longer will large companies have to wait ten to twelve seconds to communicate via e-mail. Labeled by the New York Times as being "as big as Edison's Phonograph or Gutenburg's Printing Press," the new program allows employees of a business to communicate with one another. Executives can even talk to board members and CEOs of other corporations. The Texas Travesty was fortunate enough to be given a copy of the first conversation held on this innovative chat client in which the head of Universal Studios (BlueCrushSucked) and an executive of Starbucks Coffee (SexyDMBfan) discuss important corporate matters:

BlueCrushSucked: hey dmb fan wazzup this is ted over at the universal studios lot
SexyDMBfan: HEy man how's it hanging?
BlueCrushSucked: Pretty Good Dude...just chillin to that Kylie Minogue song "come into my world"
SexyDMBfan: Oh wow...I love that one...have you heard the new Missy Elliott? It's out of this wirld
SexyDMBfan: *world
BlueCrushSucked: definitely, it is kickin. I knw this is so like two months ago but I'm still jammin to "it's gettin hot in here"
SexyDMBfan: lol
BlueCrushSucked: but hey you should seriously check out 8 Mile, its that Eminem movie we're putting out. I think it's going to be pretty kewl
SexyDMBfan: Ya...I have totally seen the previews like 40 times...hahaha!!!!...I can't sleep at night because of all of this coffee, so I just end up watching infomercials and that wierd Carmen show on TBN
BlueCrushSucked: oh that's kewl. .but hey dude, 8 mile has kim bassinger in it and she is really hot
SexyDMBfan: Umm ya like 6 years ago...But what is with that? I thought this was an autobiography? how is Kim Bassinger in Eminem's life? I wish that Avril Levrigne had gotten that role...her song sk8er boi is so cool b/c I have a bff who is actually named sk8er boi on AOL hehehe
BlueCrushSucked: oh ya, who is that?
SexyDMBfan: YOu wouldn't know him...he's on the board of United Way and the president of the Sierra CLub!!!
BlueCrushSucked: brb. my secretary is griping at me
SexyDMBfan: Oh I hat it when mine does that
SexyDMBfan: Bored Bored Bored
SexyDMBfan: la la la
SexyDMBfan: HellllooooOOOoo
BlueCrushSucked: alright, I'm back. hey, are you watching Firefly?
SexyDMBfan: Oh crap...I forgot about it. Whats happening?
BlueCrushSucked: well, on Serenity, the crew prepares to land on Persephone. Zoe says that the planet is starting to feel like a second home, but Mal says that Persephone is definitely no home. then, Badger gives Mal an offer to smuggle some booty through a guy named Warick…thats all thats happened so far
SexyDMBfan: Ok...I just turned it on
BlueCrushSucked: kewl
SexyDMBfan: Commercial break! OMG...that was k-rad
BlueCrushSucked: yeah. I wish every show was like that season premiere of 24, without commercial interruption. THAT was SOOO AWESOME
SexyDMBfan: Dude...I have never seen 24. Everyone is always raving about it...I dont even really get it. Is it an hour show, or a 24 hour show, or how does it work?
BlueCrushSucked: LMAO...there are 24 one hour episodes per season, thus creating the title and an entire day, duh!
SexyDMBfan: do they not sleep or anything like that?
BlueCrushSucked: i don't know, I'm sure that probably sometime mid-season that Jack takes a cat nap or something
SexyDMBfan: oh that's cool. Hey do you want to play some Counter Strike?
BlueCrushSucked: Ya man, definately
SexyDMBfan: me on the Starbucks address
BlueCrushSucked: ok, see you there, and all I call terrorist
SexyDMBfan: whatever. l8r
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