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mailbag concerns and praise
from our literate public |
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My roommate keeps using my Instant Messenger screenname
I just wanted to set things straight. I do not like little boys, and I haven’t slept with your mom. Oh yeah, and I’m not totally in love with Backstreet Boys. Seriously. I’m not. My idiot roommate keeps getting on my computer when I’m gone and pretending to be me on AIM. He’s such an asshole. It’s ruining my reputation. Plus, my warning level is always above 60% so all my buddies are afraid to talk to me. Hey, if SexyUTChik69 is reading this, please stop blocking me. I really miss cybering with you.
Tony Johnson
Freshman, Sociology
There is so much more to me than Screech Powers
Hey, it’s me, Dustin. No, I don’t go by Screech. What? Yeah, I was on that show. But that was such a long time ago. I’m practically a grown man now. I’m not the same nerdy guy who followed Zack Morris everywhere and spent somewhere between four and six seasons obsessing over a certain ebony love goddess who had a knack for fashion and gossip. Anycrap, I’m beyond that now. Just give me a chance, baby. Mr. Belding’s lessons went beyond the classroom!
Dustin Diamond
Lookin’ to Hook
I am writing a letter
Hello. How are you? My name is Kris and I have 19 years of age. I take English 506 at the University of Texas in Austin. My two sisters, one dad, one mom, and three brothers are by my family. What is your family? I go to study at the University of Texas in Austin, Texas. In the morning I shower. In the afternoon I eat lunch. In the night I sleep. I like to look at television. The show of Ray Romano has many laughs for me. It is on at 7 o’clock. We are talking later? Hook them Longhorns!!!!
Kris Popp
English 506 student
Has anybody seen my mojo?
I could feel it risin’, but then it just got up and went. Or was that my ‘Get-Up-and-Go’? I think it happened after I stepped on a crack while taking a wooden nickle on Friday the 13th under a ladder opening an umbrella indoors stitching time, saving nine, laughing last and best. Well, this early bird needs to bite the dust, making love, not war, until the cows come home!
Mike Oswald
Freshman, Undeclared
Got questions for us?
Ask, but know that abstinence is the answer: letters@texastravesty.com |
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