October 2002 (v5 i2)
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Bush Exaggerates Fishing Trip Story Before Congress, Nation
by Chris Rose, Staff Writer

"It was this big," says Bush
[illustration: Chris Rose, Aaron Stanush]
WASHINGTON, DC — Taking a break from his Iraq obsession, President Bush spent 15 minutes recounting a recent fishing trip to the entire American public during a White House press conference on the economy.

“I would say I caught a 15-pound bass that was at least a foot in diameter,” boasted Bush to America’s outdoorsmen, as seen in Figure A.

A mere two days after he waxed philisophic on his angling skills, Bush recounted the story in a private meeting with White House advisors, Cabinet members and Sears representative Bob Vila. This time, however, the fish had grown to well over 2.5 feet, as represented by Figure B. Could it be that Bush caught two different fish of varying lengths on that fateful day? Could the fish have grown in length as it lay cold in the White House complementary Budweiser cooler? The official White House statement reports two fish same day, but the public demands more. One outraged citizen stated, “Mr. Bush, I know you are lying. My uncle is in jail for selling crack, but even he wouldn’t embellish a fishing story as dramatically as you.”

Although nothing can presently be proved, Bush did remove his “I’d rather be fishing” wall plaque from the oval office.
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